Every
person defines who he is for himself. A person’s identity is only from within
themselves. It cannot be imposed upon a person, even by biological realities. Every
man IS an island. At least that’s the growing popular opinion nowadays. Of
course that’s crazy talk. My four-month-old son has an identity. He has yet to
discover what it means and he certainly can’t define it, but he has it
nonetheless. He has a name. His name is Daniel Louis Keane. The simple fact of
his name connects him to his older brother who chose “Daniel,” his godfather
who shares the middle name of “Louis” as well as three saints named “Louis.” The
name of “Keane” marks him as a member of this particular family of Irish
Catholics. He didn’t have any choice in the matter, but that’s who he is.
Depending on your perspective that’s an imposition or a gift.
Even we
adults, when we introduce ourselves, we of course give our names but also we
might say we’re a mother of three, or we work for XYZ Inc., or we graduated
from such-and-such college. All of these components of our identity are
likewise relational. Even sexuality
only makes sense from a relational point of view. I’m not even talking about
orientation, meaning to whom we are sexuality attracted. To form a sexual
identity at all, we require the examples of others to even give us a concept of
what it even means to be masculine or feminine, man or woman. Entire books can
and have been written on the subject, such as Alice von Hildebrand’s The Privilege of Being a Woman. We also derive our identities through our
relationships with the natural world and with the Divine.
When we take away all of the
relationships, and we are left with the self alone, what do we have? There is no context for gender, race, or even being human at all. So the question is nonsense,
but that’s what we’re trying to do culturally.
I’m not going to waste your time
belaboring the evidence for societal breakdown and the isolation of individuals.
Families are divorcing, far-flung, or not even forming in the first place. The strength
of religious faith is weakening or even altogether absent from people’s lives.
Even time spent out in nature is on the decline. So where does that leave us?
We are in isolation and consequently going mad. There is no “culture” to
sustain us, in the sense of “culture” as a medium for growth. Human beings
cannot thrive without a strong culture to tell us who we are and why we are here.
All the popular identity crises,
all the “trans” movements, have this one thing in common. They deny the
relational nature of the human person. They wish to reject the identity given
them by nature and instead desperately grasp at the possibility of creating
some sort of meaning and place in this world for themselves. I can’t even begin
to express how dreadfully sad it all is. All of the relationships in that
person’s life have failed to give to them a sense that they belong, they are
wanted, they are beloved the way they are, that they have an important place in
this world only they can fill, that they are who they are supposed to be. An
individual like this will look to change themselves because—well, what else is
left to them?
As for the rest of us, are we our
brother’s keeper?
I can’t give a pat answer here. None
of us can fix that kind of existential pain and confusion. I will say we’re not
doing anybody any favors by ignoring it and not caring enough to acknowledge
the simple truth of that pain and confusion. We must not pretend compassion
while we cheer on their self-destruction. Step one to recovery is acknowledging
the problem. Step two… I honestly do not know. Pray, certainly. And I don’t
mean that to be a sanctimonious cop-out.
What we MUST do, is rebuild the
culture. What can we do to keep ourselves and those nearest to us from slipping
into deep isolation? How can we strengthen our families and our communities? Most
importantly, what about our faith? Of all the relationships in our lives, nothing
answers who we are more profoundly than our relationship to God. When we
believe that we are made in the image and likeness of God Who loved us so much
to send His only Son and we can fully entrust ourselves to His mercy as broken
and messed-up as we are… Well maybe the answer is simpler than I thought. Simple, but certainly not easy.
